Alicia Silverstone (as Cher Horowitz, Stacey Dash (as Dionne) and Brittany Murphy (as transplant Tai) in “Clueless” (1995)
Amy Heckerlings’ “Clueless” (1995) captured the youth of Los Angeles, and definitely of Beverly Hills, in a way all L.A. Natives can agree was pure genius. In honor of a fallen angel today, we honor her with our favorite quotes and vocab from the quintessential L.A. Natives (Dionne and Cher), and the quintessential L.A. Transplant, Tai, played by the late Brittany Murphy, RIP. Our love to her family and husband, Vogue photographer Simon Monjack.
“Clueless Quotes & Vocab:”
Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.
Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms.
Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What’s the point? Everywhere you go has valet.
Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Cher: Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.
Cher: Wasn’t my mom a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.
Cher: “Did I step into some bad lighting?”
Mel: I expect you to walk through this door in twenty minutes.
Cher: It might take longer than that Dad.
Mel: Everywhere in L.A takes twenty minutes.
Cher: Lucy, the fire department called again. They said we need to clear out that bush. You said you’d get Jose to do it.
Lucy: He your gardener, I don’t know why you no tell him.
Cher: Lucy, you know I don’t speak Mexican.
Lucy: I NOT A MEXICAN! [storms off]
Cher: Great, what was that all about?
Josh: Lucy’s from El Salvador.
Cher: So?
Josh: So, it’s an entirely different country.
Cher: What does that matter?
Josh: You get mad if anyone thinks you live below Sunset
Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.
Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, “What about the strain on our resources?” Well it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ’cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin’. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.
Tai: Do you think she’s pretty?
Cher: No, she’s a full-on Monet.
Tai: What’s a monet?
Cher: It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess. Let’s ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?
"Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday." - Cher
"But this is an Alaïa!"
"Project!!" - Cher
"Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials." - Cher
