This episode was so horrifically boring we almost decided to not re-cap it, but here is what you need to know.
After Blair gets Charlotte Casiraghi to walk in her show only to have her back out at the last moment, she resorts to asking Serena to step in — only to be brutally rebuffed.
Serena is dealing with ‘her former self’ aka Sage, her boyfriend’s daughter. The Serena we know would not be outmaneuvered by skinny Vanessa. Alas as Nate points out: “She’s high school you times ten.”
Sage calls Serena a trophy girlfriend, then drops trow at Blair’s show, prompting Serena to walk out. Several journalists follow, and the rest of the models, including Alexa Chung, wont walk. Blair’s reputation is destroyed.
“You say celebrate, I say drown my sorrows” — Blair to Chuck’s bottle of ‘Dom’ after the show.
Dan publishes his first segment on The Spectator, which turns out to be all about his dad Rufus and his “glass house” aka his loft in Brooklyn where he is still shacked up with Ivy. In case it wasn’t enough to declare war on dad, he then ruthlessly pulls the rest of the series when he gets a better deal with Vanity Fair. Take a xanax, Nate.
Yah, Dan, because we always tell our boss / best friend who we’re staying with “to take a Xanax or two” after mocking them for thinking our handshake was a deal.
Nate finally catches a break landing Dan’s big expose — noting that he now finally has hits from “people who actually read.” Gossip Girl reports a leak that Rufus is planning to sue The Spectator after Ivy sends in an anonymous tip. Rufus who obviously will not be suing his son, is livid and to prove it, he asks Ivy to
be his date to make their first public appearance as a couple at a gala next week. prom
Dan is still embracing his inner ass. He publishes an expose about his own father, reneged on his deal with Nate, almost shacks up with Nelly, but then quickly ignores her when he realizes he now has non-nerd fans.
- Suck it Humphrey — Serena to Dan
- I’m going to go congratulate Anderson Cooper on his old news becoming new news — Steven to Serena
- Looks like these besties were bested by a newbie — Gossip Girl on Sage vs Serena/Blair
- Save the Dom, Chuck — Blair to Chuck
Cameos and References
- Alexa Chung played herself as one of Blair’s models who refuses to show her face on the catwalk after Serena walks out of the show.